If Someone Is Nicer and Prettier and An All Around Greater Person Than Me

How I Introduce Myself to the New Pizza Delivery Man

How Robbe Convinced Me to Date Him

If My Best Friend Drinks Too Much

If I Have a Migraine

How I Prevent Someone From Throwing Away a Perfectly Good Hot Dog

If Someone Wakes Me Up Before 8 a.m. in the Morning

If Someone Cuts Me Off While Driving

How I should react:

How I actually react:

When I Find Myself Googling Orioles Highlights Without Robbe There

Giving the Matron of Honor Speech

Most people:

Me:

How I Prepare For a 5k Race

2 months before:

1 month before:

The night before:

When I Want to Get a Dog

How most people imagine their life with a dog:

How I imagine my life with a dog: